Motivation. Often the word becomes coupled with "distraction" in my vocabulary. Sad as it may be, motivation is one of my defining weaknesses. Granted, in a job interview I will never say that my greatest weakness is "a lack of motivation." But by understanding that I, for lack of a better term, suck at being motivated, hopefully there can be progress beyond it.
Example. I love to write. Writing is probably the art form that most readily awakens the world around me to one of color rather than muted grays. I love language and the flow of words, the ponderous value of an ever lengthening vocabulary. Honestly, I have a list of words that I love like "ubiquitous" and "marsupial." English nerd, I know. But I have absolutely no motivation. None. Zero. In fact, the only reason I'm writing this blog is because it's 10:00 at night, I'm not sleepy yet, and my wife isn't ready for bed yet. How sad is that? Something that I love becomes a last resort rather than something I seek after. True to the human condition, much?
Another example. Exercise. Words cannot explain how much I hate going to the gym. Yet, once at the gym, I like it. It's the process of leaving my door, driving, arriving, and getting to it. There's just this block there. I have a billion other things that I could be doing and generally do. I know its good for me, but I lack the motivation to go and see it through.
The only problem I have with writing this is the assumption that many who read this will define my lack of motivation laziness. While there is some merit to the point, let me offer a preemptive counter argument. Laziness is defined by the lack of action due to unwillingness or a lack of effort. This is not the case with my lack of motivation. It's not that I'm unwilling or that I don't try. It's that many times I find myself without the... oomph to get up and do whatever is needed at the moment. Now, if it's a dirty kitchen, my motivation is there cause I despise it.... Wait. Does hatred lead me to be motivated. Grr...
About Me
- Alan Wes
- I am unique. I am alone. I am myself. No other in all of history or in the entire future will be me. I fulfill that requirement to be myself. If I am not myself, no other will fulfill that need to be me. So, I am. I live under the provedence of God Most High, who regins over all things. It is by His good pleasure that I am able to be anything at all. And in my being me, I bring glory to His name for He created me to bear His image. Thus, I, as a man, bear the image of God in a unique way. His glory is manifested in me through every breath. There is not one thing that I do beyond His will, for the descisions of this human cannot overcome the plan of the Omnipotent. I live in yearning. I long for the day when I shall dance with my bride. I long of the day where the Prince shall call me his own. I live for the joyous light that shall flood my soul when all things become one, whole, new. Thus, I live in waiting. I wait for His time. I wait for life to be renewed. I live.
2 comments:
Lately I've been thinking a lot about those exact two things...it's uncanny. I'm right there with you. What does motivate us? I don't think it's hatred, whatever it is. What if, though they are things we love, we don't do these things (i.e. - write, exercise, etc.) because we do not truly understand what it is to love something? Maybe that's too much inference. What if we get distracted from those things because they do not truly satisfy, because they are not what we were made for in the first place? Now I'm really inferring too much...
Let me know when you find the answer because I want in on the secret!
Haha... I don't know. You bring up some good points. What if motivation is coupled with love? What if motivation is blocked by design over the things that we weren't made for? I think that one is knocked out because we can be motivated to sin, and that for sure is not what we were made for. Love though... Maybe we just don't love it enough. But should we? AHHH.... More questions.
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